This is my first attempt at story writing. Read on.
She liked him. He used to visit her often. Everyday, actually. She had grown used to his presence. At twelve, Sana only thought of him as a solace from the gloom around. There was nothing that could bring colour to her mundane life. Except for him, perhaps.
He was very close to the family, thus his frequent visits failed to raise eyebrows. Moreover, he was in his early twenties, a dozen years older than her.
He miraculously seemed to understand her every mood, her every emotion. At that age, what mattered most to Sana was that he never forgot her birthday, brought her gifts (mostly cuddly items from Archies), greeting cards and posters.
Usually secretive, Sana was very ‘open’ with him. They seemed to connect perfectly well with each other.
It all changed. Suddenly.
He had finished his MBA and had to be married. He saw less of her. She was also too busy growing into a young woman, introspecting.
He found a match that she thought was perfect for him. A few months after his wedding, she realised she was spending a lot of time reliving their moments together.She looked back at those times like she never had.
She thought of the greeting card signed, “need me anytime, anywhere…i’m there.”
She thought of the poster that said “be mine, forever”.
She thought of the teddy bear, which had “you are too sweet…” written on it.
She thought of the thousand times he’d said, “Sana, you look simply beautiful.”
How foolish of her to not have noticed this before!
Was she his adolescent love? First crush. Teenage love. The very thought of which brings a smile on your face, something that’s true yet untrue, something whose uncertainty is the only certainty. It is momentary, but stays with you all your life.
But now, Sana realized, that perhaps he meant much more to her than she had to him.
The realisation came too late. Things had changed. He was a married man full of responsibilities. No more phones on her birthday. No more gifts. No more laughing together.
They had been ‘special’ people to each other. When he understood this, she didn’t. And when she began to understand it, the wheels of time had turned, irreversibly.
Sana still hopes they can be ‘special’ in each other’s lives. Again. What’s wrong in that, she asks herself. But she knows that their lives don’t intertwine anymore.
They are changed people now.
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Raksha Kumar.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Pachpan khambe, Lal Deeware (55 pillars, red walls)
The Prime Minister of this nation visited our college last week. Once again Lady Shri Ram College, New Delhi proved it has brilliant organisational skills. Once again, LSR proved that it was a (fully?) ‘stage-managed’ college.
If the show goes well, it is to the credit of the stage-managers and the actors. But if the show sees a glitch, it is most definitely the fault of the actors.
Never in my life had I thought I’d put up an act to please a large group of people. But that’s what I did in the first two years of my college life- without my knowledge of it.
Don’t get me wrong. I realise how fortunate I am to be a part of a great institution when a majority of my peers don’t have access to higher education at all.
However, just as any democratic institution, our college would do well if it took criticism and worked on its drawbacks.
If there is a discontentment and you can’t voice it, it is a failure of a democratic institution. Take my word for it, there are many – teachers and students alike- who suppress their displeasure with the college.
There are many reasons for my being disillusioned. But not all of it can be explained and not all of it will be understood by those who have not had a close contact with the college.
However, I shall give three arguments to substantiate my point.
First: the PM visited our college to mark the grand finale of our golden jubilee celebrations. Four speeches were made out of which one was by the PM. The other three – by Mr. Arun Bharat Ram, grandson of the founder Lala Shri Ram, Mr. Dilip Paintal, Vice Chancellor, Delhi University and Dr. Meenakshi Gopinath, Principal, LSR- were almost identical. They all spoke about LSR’s illustrious past, about the (unsurpassable?) achievements of LSR and about LSR’s glorious future.
I have always felt that milestones are not only occasions to thump your back but also to introspect. In his 1997 50th Independence Day speech, Atal Bihari Vajpayee also, spoke about what India should do to be one of the best nations of the world.
If anyone who’d seen the college at close quarters had heard the speeches, they’d know how superficial they were.
Second: one issue that bothers me endlessly is that the college has two monopolistic business entities on campus- the Café (in common Indian parlance, the canteen) and the College Bookstore.
Both are highly over-priced. I wouldn’t blame them. They are, after all, catering to the 60% (my estimate) of LSR’s student community who can afford to buy their products. The other 40% can only fight between the desire and the inability to own these products.
If it is well known that it is an ‘elite college’, then why should the not-so-elite send their kids there? Because the college is also being run on UGC (university grants commission) grants, a semi-government college, if you like. Anyone who has the requisite marks is free to apply, irrespective of her financial background.
(Never mind the skewed system of examination marks that favours the students of the public schools, it is the topic of another debate).
The college should ensure that these monopolies on the campus regulate their prices to accommodate the student pocket.
Third: There is so much ‘social work’ everywhere. AIDS, condom usage, orphanages, old age homes, RTI, public policy and homosexuality are just a few issues I hear all around the college, everyday.
There are students who don’t even understand the issues fully. To me, they look like the bright future of the ‘NGO industry’.
Just ask how many of them are against MNCs ‘robbing’ India of its economic and cultural wealth. And ask how many can live without Benitton, Mc Donald’s, Levis and Reebok. You’d know what I am talking about.
LSR is still the beautiful place I walked into two years ago. To be fair to the institution, I learnt to read between the lines and see things differently from this very college.
When you teach students to criticise, you can’t expect them to keep you outside the scanner. It is easy to criticise and easier still to teach how to criticise. To be able to accept criticism shows one’s true strength.
Raksha Kumar
If the show goes well, it is to the credit of the stage-managers and the actors. But if the show sees a glitch, it is most definitely the fault of the actors.
Never in my life had I thought I’d put up an act to please a large group of people. But that’s what I did in the first two years of my college life- without my knowledge of it.
Don’t get me wrong. I realise how fortunate I am to be a part of a great institution when a majority of my peers don’t have access to higher education at all.
However, just as any democratic institution, our college would do well if it took criticism and worked on its drawbacks.
If there is a discontentment and you can’t voice it, it is a failure of a democratic institution. Take my word for it, there are many – teachers and students alike- who suppress their displeasure with the college.
There are many reasons for my being disillusioned. But not all of it can be explained and not all of it will be understood by those who have not had a close contact with the college.
However, I shall give three arguments to substantiate my point.
First: the PM visited our college to mark the grand finale of our golden jubilee celebrations. Four speeches were made out of which one was by the PM. The other three – by Mr. Arun Bharat Ram, grandson of the founder Lala Shri Ram, Mr. Dilip Paintal, Vice Chancellor, Delhi University and Dr. Meenakshi Gopinath, Principal, LSR- were almost identical. They all spoke about LSR’s illustrious past, about the (unsurpassable?) achievements of LSR and about LSR’s glorious future.
I have always felt that milestones are not only occasions to thump your back but also to introspect. In his 1997 50th Independence Day speech, Atal Bihari Vajpayee also, spoke about what India should do to be one of the best nations of the world.
If anyone who’d seen the college at close quarters had heard the speeches, they’d know how superficial they were.
Second: one issue that bothers me endlessly is that the college has two monopolistic business entities on campus- the Café (in common Indian parlance, the canteen) and the College Bookstore.
Both are highly over-priced. I wouldn’t blame them. They are, after all, catering to the 60% (my estimate) of LSR’s student community who can afford to buy their products. The other 40% can only fight between the desire and the inability to own these products.
If it is well known that it is an ‘elite college’, then why should the not-so-elite send their kids there? Because the college is also being run on UGC (university grants commission) grants, a semi-government college, if you like. Anyone who has the requisite marks is free to apply, irrespective of her financial background.
(Never mind the skewed system of examination marks that favours the students of the public schools, it is the topic of another debate).
The college should ensure that these monopolies on the campus regulate their prices to accommodate the student pocket.
Third: There is so much ‘social work’ everywhere. AIDS, condom usage, orphanages, old age homes, RTI, public policy and homosexuality are just a few issues I hear all around the college, everyday.
There are students who don’t even understand the issues fully. To me, they look like the bright future of the ‘NGO industry’.
Just ask how many of them are against MNCs ‘robbing’ India of its economic and cultural wealth. And ask how many can live without Benitton, Mc Donald’s, Levis and Reebok. You’d know what I am talking about.
LSR is still the beautiful place I walked into two years ago. To be fair to the institution, I learnt to read between the lines and see things differently from this very college.
When you teach students to criticise, you can’t expect them to keep you outside the scanner. It is easy to criticise and easier still to teach how to criticise. To be able to accept criticism shows one’s true strength.
Raksha Kumar
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